2nd day complex..enough :(

Today..I feel mix up inside,I'm happy but when I'm not outside I feel sad..I hate my them for some reason..
They always make me sad,they love me but they always kills me inside..they always tell the truth to me,eventough it destroy me..
I don't know whether I should cry anymore or not..
This thought stress me out, it's too long to be strong enough..
I love you guys but why you don't understand me..it seems that I don't belong here.. Can I escape it?..
I'm not strong enough to handle this all problem.. It's too sorrow..
And I want someone to love me,to need me so badly.. I want someone to be nice and care so much to me.. That I feel I want to live..
I wish this day..is the only day..that I would feel this way..
But,today seems so wonderful and this kind of problem make it bad..:(

the way i feel~

Why is this happening?
Why is this feeling comes again?
Why I always feel miserable here..
Why..I always feel painful when I'm in here..

This is my home,but it also where..the hell is created..
They supposed to be the people that makes me feel happy..
But they destroy me slowly..
This feeling slowly destroy me..
The pain can't hold on forever..it's killing me inside..

I don't know whom I can turn to..
I'm not a perfect person and I want to get away..
I don't want to be born like this..this is killing me..

I'm useless here... No one knows me no one understands me.. The happines never come.. Make me surrender to the pain.. Why I exist here?!?!

the 2nd excitement :D

Yeahh!! The first day of holiday.. After unas!!
Moodku excited excited!! Hahha ;p
Hri ini... Planning sie ke suramadu guyss hahha :D
With all of my beloved familyy huahuahua..kyak ap ya madura itu??
Wkwk.. So crazy to see it..hahha.. Wish me luck ya guys.. To find.. Good things in madura hahha
And for my knight wherever you are..beliaved me.. You just don't realize how precious you are for me.. :D love ya hehehhe

so this is what real..

hari ini..the first time i started this blog hehhe.. xD
tulis entri e malem2 lagi hahah sambil ndengerin i'll be hahha truly mellow mood ^^
but i like it..really make me feels good..
so,the truth of what on is i'm feeling really good now ..life never been this good really especially since the "jealousY" come hehhe xD
but now i can simply forget the feeling and look forward ^^
it's makes me really relieve to be back to the old me,the cheerful me xD
and writting this blog really helps me..to be more outspoken to everybody hehhe
When i listen to i'll be song i realize..
whenever that knight will be i'll also be there..for you...and destiny will tied us ^^

my 1st confessions

okay here we go, hmm..jujur ngak tau mau ngomong apa..the fist time doing this is so weird.. >< hahha..
but anyway..hi my name is natasha this is my second blog i guess.. blog pertamaku saudah exipered rsae hahha xD saking lamanya ngak pernah tak buka...gara2 boring soro hahha...
and now I guess i make this blog to write what in my head..and what i want other people to know and just simpy to tell what i feel..cause sometimes i can't spit it out in talking..writting is so much better huff =p
I guess this sound cheesy but,I wish that when everybody see this blog,they can see a bit of my life and what i get through and they can get something from it hahha(jadi lebay seh hahaha) and this is all for the introduction hahha xD
and now, Welcome to My life,My confessions :D